What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
