Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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