i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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