i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
