You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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