I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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