honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
