Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
