Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
there is glitter all over my balls
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