He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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