found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
