cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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