i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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