im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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