Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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