People in love make me want to vomit
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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