Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
