Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
