dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize