left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize