My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
