So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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