Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
