I wish I only lived at night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
