I'd wear matching sweaters with you
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
