He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
