she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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