i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize