i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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