I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize