Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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