I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
