My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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