do herpes really smell.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
