The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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