Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
