she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
