True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
