Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
