I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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