I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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