So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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