So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
