Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
