i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
