Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
