I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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