so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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