dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
