So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
