sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
