Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
