You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
