You made me cry and you don't even care
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
