Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
