no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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