i think i have herpe
just one?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
