There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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